Thousands or people struggle daily with all kinds of problems that seem to resist their best efforts to change them. You know the sort of things I'm talking about. It might be feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem issues, lack of confidence, overeating and chronic overweight problems, constantly sabotaging relationships, performance blockages, fear, depression, anger issues, the inability to let go of bad habits or any one of a million other things.
These kinds of problems are almost always driven by subconscious dynamics - things that are beyond our conscious awareness and conscious control. When this is the case and we want to make true and permanent changes, the subconscious is the only part of us that can make the changes. If it's being caused by the subconscious, it has to be changed by the subconscious. Regardless of the kind of professional or self-help methods we choose, there are several things we should understand about the manner in which our subconscious operates.
Don’t bully your subconscious
Firstly, our subconscious does not respond kindly to being ‘bullied’. It does not like being pushed and shoved and 'told what to do' or 'how to be'. Our subconscious demands respect. It responds to what we might call 'gentle persuasion' and suggestion. In most cases, to continue demanding change or bombarding our selves with 'positive thinking' or 'affirmations' amounts to 'bullying'. If you have tried those things and have not succeeded, then stop it! If it hasn't worked for you in the past, it will likely not work for you in the future. There is nothing inherently 'wrong' with thinking positively or using the common strategy of 'positive affirmations'. However, where there are deep-seated beliefs, feelings and thoughts that are in opposition to your positive affirmations, you will usually make it worse rather than better. If somewhere deep inside, you don’t feel and believe you are ‘worthy’ for example, to keep consciously felling yourself you are, amounts to lying to yourself and you simply strengthen the underlying belief.
Don’t test your subconscious
Secondly, our subconscious does not like being ‘tested’. If you are either doing or think you have done what is necessary to create some kind of change, and then proceed to ‘test the results’; you will probably be disappointed. By deliberately testing the results of your efforts, you are subtly and strongly implying that you may not have made the changes. After all, why else would you be ‘testing’ it? This ‘negative’ implication of course, goes straight to your subconscious. You are in effect, telling your subconscious that you haven’t made the change and you will usually respond accordingly! We are naturally and automatically drawn towards our predominating thoughts (especially those that are mostly subconscious) and in this case the predominating (subconscious) thought is the opposite of what you want.
Analysis is paralysis
Thirdly, our subconscious hates being analyzed. There is a natural process of 'analysis' going on at a subconscious level, 24 hours a day, and this is necessary to simply get us through the day. However, if we deliberately and consciously start analyzing our thoughts, feelings and responses, we will be trespassing on our subconscious domain and interfere with this natural process. Regardless of how uncomfortable, unhealthy, or downright bizarre the symptoms might be, the original subconscious intention behind those symptoms is always positive and protective. Trying to consciously analyze and figure out how or why we feel like this can be perceived as a threat to this protective roe of the subconscious. It is not uncommon for people to undergo years of analysis, only to find the problems remain as deeply entrenched as ever. Thankfully, there are better ways to deal with these things.
Finally, the subconscious part of us hates being put on a time limit. For reasons similar to those mentioned above, we will often get the opposite of what we want if we try to dictate a time limit for change. The subconscious (when given the right opportunity) will make changes when it is right to do so. With the correct help, some people make changes very quickly and others do it more slowly. We are all different and we all respond to change differently. It has to do with showing the subconscious respect. Putting a time limit on the process of subconscious change can amount to bullying. Due to the universal, so-called ‘Law of Reversed Effect’, the more impatient you are, the longer it may take you to change. The secret of successful change is to give your subconscious the opportunity it needs and allow the changes to unfold in the manner and the time that is right for you.
Modern therapy methods side step these subconscious 'no-go-zones' and when used correctly, most people get the results they have struggled for, quite quickly and easily. If it's 'too hard' or takes 'too long', you are probably treading on the toes of your subconscious. Remember - its intentions are always pure and it always wants best for you.
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