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CULTIVATING GRATITUDE

CULTIVATING GRATITUDE


“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” – Thomas Jefferson





“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” – Johannes A. Gaertner

And, you were able to do that after eight or nine months of observation - suppose you had five or 10 years. Do you think there would have been anything about your teacher you didn’t know?

Most spiritual and psychological traditions speak of the importance of cultivating a sense of gratitude in life, if one is to evolve into higher realms of human existence and con­sistently experience joy, aliveness and mean­ing in one's life. This is especially true here in the Western world, where we are bombarded with the lure and illusory promise of mate­rial things from the moment we are born. Our entire consumer-oriented culture is based on convincing people that the real solution to their unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life is that they need to buy something they do not yet have (and often really do not need), and then making them feel even worse if they can't or won't buy it. All of our major indices of pros­perity and success are based on the idea that consumption is good, and more consumption is better. Consequently, even if we do buy the latest thing, our satisfaction is short-lived and fades as soon as the next new gizmo comes out. As a result, people feel badly if their house "only" has 2000 square feet and their car has not grown to tank-size proportions like the ones they see in their neighbor's driveway and their boat is only twenty feet long.

But what inner qualities does this entire in­dustry of induced consumption breed in us? Unfortunately, it has created a nation of greedy, envious, self-serving, worried, competi­tive people who tend to put more attention on what they don't have than what they have, cre­ating more craving, more desire, more empti­ness, and more longing. Compare this attitude with that of the philosopher, Epictetus, who said, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

This attitude of dissatisfaction exists in a country which has more material prosperity than any country in history. Just how fortu­nate are we in the United States? According to recent estimates by the United Nations, worldwide, about 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes; some 800 million people in the world suf­fer from hunger and malnutrition; and 1.6 billion people still live in absolute poverty. If one includes those living in "relative pov­erty", the poor population across the globe amounts to 3.3 billion, more than half of the entire world. In other words, over 50% of the population on Earth would be thrilled beyond belief to live at the standard of most Americans. And yet for so many of us, it’s still not enough.

This is where comes in. We need a major attitude shift if we are to create healthier relationships, more inner seren­ity, fulfillment and meaningful lives. Cicero once wrote, "Gratitude is not only the great­est of virtues, but the parent of all the oth­ers" Gratitude paves the way for a host of other very positive qualities to emerge.

How can we cultivate more of this wonderful quality within ourselves and others? We can begin by starting a Gratitude Journal, writ­ing down all things, both great and small, that we are grateful for in our life. Nothing is too small or insignificant to be included, because the scale of gratitude knows no bounds. Review your list daily.

In terms of our relationships, we tend to take our spouses, lovers, significant others and friends for granted. There is no greater gift than to tell a loved one how much you appreciate their presence in your life. Count­less times while working with couples we have seen resentment and anger melt away in the presence of sincere gratitude and apprecia­tion. Call a friend or relative, or write a letter to let someone know what they mean to you, even if they are healthy and not in crisis. It's also a wonderful practice to have an entire family express gratitude together on a regu­lar basis; the earlier children start the greater their capacity for gratitude becomes.

The consistent practice of expressing grati­tude also reminds us that we do not live alone; we survive only because we are con­stantly receiving goods from people, from na­ture, and from spirit. Gratitude helps us to be more aware of the many things that we receive from other people, and realize that our lives depend on the perpetual giving of others, and we feel a deeper responsibility to give more of ourselves. Albert Einstein said, "A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving.”

In closing, here’s a wonderful quote by Melody Beattie:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confu­sion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”


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